If there is one event in life that can overwhelm even the strongest of us, it’s the process of going through a divorce. However, it doesn’t need to be a nightmarish event that stagnates your future. For those of you currently going through a divorce or contemplating a separation in the future, here’s how to make it as amicable and smooth as possible.

Focus on the Potential Benefits

Once both parties have decided to go their separate ways, it’s best to focus on the future. Although the subsequent months may be filled with legal conversations and cut-and-dry topics, the divorce will make both parties happier in the end.

Similarly, if kids are involved, focus on the improved quality of life your family will have once the divorce is final. We may think that children and relatives can’t sense the tension before the divorce announcement, but they absolutely can. If these conversations come up in passing, reassure them that life will improve once the legalities are taken care of, and the living situation gets organized.

Get a Lawyer Who Understands Your Unique Situation

Perhaps the most challenging setback couples experience during a divorce is working out the legalities of the split. Who gets the house, investment property, personal belongings, and so forth? This process may stop a divorce in its tracks, so it’s essential to find legal counsel, like the lawyers at P. J. Griffin & Co., who’s on your side and has your best interest in mind during legal proceedings.

Before having a legal discussion with each party member’s lawyer, come to a loose agreement of what each of you desires from the separation. Here are some ideas, topics, questions and conversation starters to discuss with your spouse:

  • Identify who gets what items.
  • Be willing to negotiate with your partner about specifics.
  • Photograph each item before signing over ownership.
  • List each item in detail. Keep a copy for yourself, and create one for the lawyer to hold.
  • Consider appraisal services to understand the monetary value of each item.

As a rule of thumb, never discuss these matters in an emotionally-charged state. If you’re fighting, upset or disgruntled, hold off until a later time. Once the divorce settles, don’t resort to name-calling or personal attacks against your previous partner. Use the transition period to identify what you need and desire in future relationships.