Every relationship can have its rough patches. When you have children at home in the middle of it all, you may be looking for ways to ensure they are happy and that the disruption is not causing them any difficulties. For those concerned about their children’s happiness during relationship issues, here are some tips.
Get expert help
If you are having relationship strgulles and know it may end up with a split or divorce, you may want to talk to a lawyer to see what the happiest outcome can be for you, your parnet, and your children. You may worry that your relationship is heading downhill and you want help with what the outcome could mean for your children or your home. Thus, speaking to a professional will ensure you receive the best help and guidance for a happy outcome.
Avoid blaming people
It’s vital to be honest with your kids, but without being critical of your spouse. This can be especially difficult when there have been hurtful events, such as infidelity, but with a little diplomacy, you can avoid playing the blame game. Present a united front. As much as you can, try to agree in advance on an explanation for your separation or divorce—and stick to it.
How to tell your children
Difficult as it may be, try to strike an empathetic tone and address the most important points right up front. Give your children the benefit of an honest—but kid-friendly—explanation. Tell the truth. Your kids are entitled to know why you are getting a divorce, but long-winded reasons may only confuse them. Pick something simple and honest, like “We can’t get along anymore.” You may need to remind your children that while sometimes parents and kids don’t always get along, parents and kids don’t stop loving each other or get divorced from each other.
Avoid arguing in front of children
Your relationship issues should not be presented in front of your children. At the end of the day, it is not their fault and it may cause them unnecessary distress. It can lead to anxiety issues for them later on in life. By arguing and causing conflict with each other, negative energy is being spread around the household and causes everyone exposed to the yelling and disagreement to be in a bad mood for the rest of the day.
Offer them constant reassurance
Children have a remarkable ability to heal when given the support and love they need. Your words, actions, and ability to remain consistent are all important tools to reassure your children of your unchanging love. Both parents will be there. Let your kids know that even though the physical circumstances of the family unit will change, they can continue to have healthy, loving relationships with both of their parents. Tell them that it’ll be okay. Tell kids that things won’t always be easy, but they will work out. Knowing everything will be alright can provide incentive for your kids to give a new situation a chance. Offer them as much closeness as possible. Physical closeness—in the form of hugs, pats on the shoulder, or simple proximity—has a powerful way of reassuring your child of your love.