Divorce is usually the only solution for ending a mismatched marriage, and though it may seem to be the healthiest answer, your children will struggle to see it that way.
Fortunately, there are a few steps that both parents can take to make this difficult transition easier for their shared kids. Here are a few things that you can do to better understand your children’s feelings and equip them to cope more easily in the future.
Keep the Same Schedule
Whether it’s meetings with a divorce lawyer, visits with the parent living outside the home, or the simple fact that the parent living with the children has to pick up the slack in the home, it can be difficult to maintain a routine. However, consistency is something that certainly gives children of all ages some comfort. It allows them to keep a sense of stability and that provides them with peace when other parts of their lives are in full upheaval. And, abiding by preexisting rules about responsibilities and chores helps keep some order amongst the turmoil.
Talk About Their Feelings
You will need to let your children express themselves openly and vent what they are feeling. Let them be completely open and honest when talking about the divorce, and reinforce the narrative that they are in no way responsible for what is happening.
Don’t Hide the Truth
Your children should be told the reasons why their parents have decided to separate, but it should be broken down into simple bits of information, carefully planned, and relayed to them on their levels. It may be best to let them know together, as a united co-parenting team. Show them you are on the same page about living arrangements and visitation going forward.
Commit to Co-Parenting
Fighting with your ex in front of the children, especially about their welfare, can cause anxiety and depression in youngsters. They will start to feel guilty because they will believe they are the reason for all the tension. It is always best to discuss parenting issues out of their earshot.
Don’t Insult Your Ex in Front of the Children
You should always act supportive of the time your ex and the kids spend together and encourage them to get to know the other parent’s family, and significant others, if applicable. Saying derogatory things about the children’s other parent will force them to take sides, which they should never have to do.
In conclusion, these are just a few of the things that you can do to help your child adjust to your divorce. Just know that healing will take place progressively over time.