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We all like to think that we have a fabulous relationship with our partners. But when we go digging, we almost always discover problems. Romantic relationships are difficult, and sustaining them over the long-term takes a lot of work. 

In this post, we explore the anatomy of a good marriage and how you can improve yours.

Start With Trust

Without trust, relationships can’t happen. If one person doesn’t feel like they can be vulnerable around the other, or invest in them, then things will grind to a halt quickly. Each partner needs to know that they can count on the other. If that doesn’t happen, your relationship will display a high level of stress and uncertainty, with neither party really knowing what the other is doing or what they want. 

Add A Dash Of Patience

We expect a lot from our romantic partners. They should meet all our needs – or so we tell ourselves. 

However, that approach to marriage is fraught with problems. No single person can be so vast that they can meet your requirements for intimacy, conversation, intellectual stimulation, empathy and excitement. Practically all couples accept some form of compromise to be with the person they love. 

That’s why it is so critical to be patient. People don’t arrive in relationships fully formed. It takes time to mould and develop them. And many couples spend years growing together before becoming fully intertwined. 

Give Affection 

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Giving affection is also critically important for anyone looking to improve their relationship with their significant other. But when it is absent, the heart can wander. 

Small gestures are usually all it takes, but you need to be careful – no two people are alike. A satisfactory level of physical attention for one person may be insufficient for another. Shoot for the same level of care as a black chat line. Think of yourself as somebody who is looking after your partner, trying to ensure that they get the most out of the relationship. Treat every day as if it were the first day of your love, and your marriage will blossom. 

Be Flexible

Rigidity in relationships never works. You need a bit of flexibility. Relationships require compromise. No two people are going to agree perfectly on everything. 

Being flexible means allowing your partner to be themselves. It also means going along with things you don’t agree with sometimes, so long as they are not destructive. 

In many cases, it is helpful to accept that a relationship will necessarily have good and bad elements. There will be things you love about yours, and things you don’t. 

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Finish With Empathy

Understanding where your partner is coming from is perhaps the most significant relationship skill there is. If you can show them that you understand them, you can work your way through virtually any problem you might face. 

Being empathetic means seeing the world from their point of view. If you notice that they are having a bad experience, show them that you understand why. If you’re the cause, explain how you’re going to change what you do. 

By Erica Buteau

Change Agent. Daydream Believer. Maker. Creative. Likes love, peace and Jeeping. Dislikes winter, paper cuts and war. She/Her/Hers.

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