Do you know your partner’s love language? If not, you could find that you often experience miscommunication or confusion regarding your relationship. These types of issues can often be resolved when you’re able to understand your significant other’s preferred method of affection. There are five love languages, according to the number one selling book by Gary Chapman. Each describes a different way one might prefer to receive affection. Read on to learn about these languages and to discover how to use them to effectively communicate with your partner to improve your relationship.

About the Five Love Languages

The five love languages are basically ways of expressing and receiving love. They include words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Everyone communicates love in their own way. They also have their own preferred method for receiving expressions of love from others. When you learn your partner’s preferred language, you can then make concerted efforts to appeal to their desires. Your partner is likely to feel validated and understood by such expressions, which can lead to a more affirming and supportive relationship.

Words of Affirmation

People who enjoy words of affirmation as their primary love language crave positive words from loved ones. They want to hear, “I love you.” They appreciate words of appreciation, compliments, and verbal encouragement. They may also enjoy hearing from you through text or social media.

Quality Time

The keyword in this love language is “quality.” Someone who values quality time wants to spend uninterrupted time with their partner. They thrive on feeling connected and want to feel the full presence of their partner. Doing activities together and going on regular dates can be a fun and rewarding way to spend time together, but just hanging out side by side may be enough for a quality time lover as long as you are focused on each other. It’s important to spend time with each other and continue to kindle your spark and to show your love.

Acts of Service

Those who enjoy this particular love language look to actions in order to feel loved, rather than words. They feel appreciated and cared for when their partner takes time to do something to make their life easier. The act can be quite small, such as making them coffee in the morning or picking up takeout on the way home. Size and extravagance don’t matter as long as the intent is genuine.


Like acts of service, those who long to receive gifts as an expression of affection aren’t necessarily looking for grand or expensive presents. In most cases, it truly is the thought that counts. Those whose love language is gifts want to know that you took time to consider what they would enjoy receiving. Presenting your gift lover with a small token that is meaningful to them is the sure way to win their heart. What matters most is that you’ve considered their personality and wishes, rather than your own.

Physical Touch

This one is rather self-explanatory. People who feel most loved through physical acts of affection fall into this category. They enjoy all sorts of physical closeness and connection. It is the contact that helps them to feel closest to their loved ones. They crave this form of connection. Without it, they may feel neglected or unimportant. Types of physical touch such individuals may desire include holding hands, massage, cuddling, hugging, kissing, and sex. Taking time to indulge them in any of these will show them their value to you and will increase your bond.

If you have difficulty in expressing physical affection, you may want to seek professional help in order to find the source of this discomfort and to find ways to overcome your aversion. A mismatch in this area can cause some genuine difficulties in a relationship. Consider talking to a therapist about why you feel uncomfortable getting physically close. Perhaps enrolling in online sex classes can help you to find new ways to approach your sexual relationship in order to bring you and your partner closer.

Now that you understand the five love languages, you are ready to start using this knowledge to love your partner according to their preferred style. It’s important to know that it will take a period of trial and error to make a habit of catering to your partner’s love language. Your effort will be recognized and appreciated.