young asian female looking at reflection

In a perfect world, the past is something we either enjoy remembering and gain comfort from, or it’s something that we’ve learned lessons from so that our future can be more productive and successful. Unfortunately, although this would be ideal, it’s not always the case. For some people, the mistakes they’ve made in the past, or even the fact that they have such good memories that they wish they were back there, means that they are being held back in life. They’re not succeeding in the way they should. Here are some of the signs that your past might be holding you back; once you know what they are and can acknowledge them, you can start to more forward more easily. 

You Constantly Talk About the Past 

Talking about the past is not always a negative; it can sometimes be a good thing, and it’s fun to reminisce, especially when you’re with other people who remember the same people and events as you do. The problem comes when you are always talking about the past, and you constantly wish life could be like that again. 

The more you do this, the less notice you are taking of the present, and the fewer plans you are making for the future. This means that you are not taking advantage of any opportunities in life, or benefiting from the different things you could be doing that would make the present a fond memory in the future. 

If possible, try to focus more on the future. It will be hard at first, but once you start really making plans and understand that the future can be just as good as the past was if you work at it and plan ahead, things will feel much better. 

You’re Scared of Making Another Mistake 

Mistakes happen. Everyone has made mistakes in their lives, some small and some very big. These mistakes are really how we learn to be better in the future; the cliché of learning from your mistakes is very true, and if no mistakes were ever made, we would be lesser people, as strange as that might seem. 

However, it might be that you are so afraid of making another mistake, especially one that was very serious and that caused pain or injury to you or someone else, or that you needed solicitors west midlands to help you with, including divorce or separation, you’re afraid to move forward. 

If this is how you feel, the first thing to do is to acknowledge the mistakes of your past and work out how you got there. What brought you to that point where the mistake could happen? Once you know this, you can put steps in place to prevent it from happening again and finally move on with your life. 

You’re Afraid of Change 

Change can be very exciting and absolutely the right thing, but it can also be extremely frightening. So frightening in fact that, even if the outcome is sure to be a positive one, making the change necessary is just not something that some people are able to do; they are just too afraid to change at all. 

When your past is holding you back, this fear of change is termed a ‘learned fear’, which means that you have become satisfied with how things are and even if you know that change might make things better, you’re not willing to step outside of your comfort zone. If you do this, you’ll lose control, and for someone who is trapped in the past, control is extremely important. 

The key here is to know that this fear can’t be real; it’s a fear of something that has yet to happen, and may not happen. Once you know this, you can more easily weigh up the benefits and the negatives, and make the right choice, whatever that might be. 

By Erica Buteau

Change Agent. Daydream Believer. Maker. Creative. Likes love, peace and Jeeping. Dislikes winter, paper cuts and war. She/Her/Hers.

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