Marital problems can come and go, but when your marriage itself feels like a problem, something must be done. Some solutions can’t be achieved without outside help or a new form of conflict resolution. These are three ways to get help when your marriage is a struggle.
Relationships sometimes need an objective pair of eyes to determine what the real issues are. Petty squabbles can be rooted in a sense of resentment that’s been growing bigger. If neither of you can determine where that resentment might have come from, you need to see a counselor. A qualified marriage counselor gets an overview of the relationship from both parties and avoids making any rash judgments. They’ll ask questions that help a couple to reach the answers they need.
If you have faith, you might feel lost and forsaken by what’s happening to your marriage. Though you can try to put on a veneer of positivity to act as though everything is fine, internally, you might be having a crisis. Talk to any leaders in your faith community who you can use as a confidante. Tell them about what’s going on and what your fears are. Do not be ashamed of doing this, as they’re likely profoundly grateful that you’ve taken your marital vows so seriously. Listen to any advice they have. You shouldn’t feel expected to suddenly feel elated and that there is nothing wrong with your marriage. Whoever you speak with must know that having faith doesn’t mean that hard times can’t still fall upon you.
Your marriage might reach the point where you start to question whether it’s worth trying to save. The first time you have a conflict with your spouse shouldn’t be grounds for divorce. However, a trend of mistreatment or hostility definitely can be. If you find yourself no longer desiring to salvage your marriage, it’s time to let go. Get in touch with a divorce lawyer and focus on how you can put an end to this union with as little fallout as you can.
Love cannot be forced. It also can’t survive based on the past. Your marriage needs to be healthy throughout its tenure, not just when you and your spouse first exchange vows. Issues in your union aren’t a sign that things are doomed or that you won’t be able to rekindle the passion and commitment. When you begin to have a bad feeling about the direction your marriage is headed, take action immediately.