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I’m feeling a little raw, emotional and a bit sad tonight and just needed to write from the heart – this bleeding heart I sometimes wish I didn’t have. Raw, emotional, unedited, uninhibited. Feelings. Reals.

I share so much of the great stuff that happens in my life here with all of you. I’ve read a lot lately about how someone’s Facebook life is only half the story, that people share just what they want you to see. Sometimes we need to remember the raw, the real, the feelings. And tonight, I’m sharing with you my bleeding heart. 

I would like to think I live my life in a way that promotes kindness, acceptance, compassion, forgiveness and overall, love. I am naive and sensitive and often my feelings are easily hurt. I cry for strangers! I have a bleeding heart.

Because of this I try very hard to maintain a sense of peace, to avoid causing others pain, anger, embarrassment or other negative feelings and I let the little things go for the sake of the greater good. I never want to be the source of someone else’s sadness. I have a bleeding heart.

I crave harmony and belonging. I genuinely want to be liked, to be loved. I continue to try to put out good energy and hope that it is somehow returned not for me but for those that I love and care about. This is not about pleasing a higher power, it’s about living the best life I know how, being a positive role model for my children and practicing a pay it forward lifestyle. And, I have a bleeding heart.

When I can, I do. When I can’t, I try anyway. I would never go out of my way to be deceptive, unfair, or cruel and it deeply hurts when I feel that someone might think those things of me. I have a bleeding heart.

I apologize when I’m wrong and often when I’m not. Because I am genuinely sorry when something goes awry, whatever the cause. I feel almost too deeply. I do this with work, home, family – in all aspects of my life. I have a bleeding heart.

I look for the good in everything, anything. Because I truly believe that the good exists. I wish that I could be easier on myself, shrug things off and develop an “it’s your problem not mine” attitude sometimes but that just isn’t me. I have a bleeding heart.

There are moments when things are hard. Too hard. And in those moments I occasionally whine to myself and ask, “why me?” And then I remind myself that others have much more pain than I do, that times are tougher for many more. And I focus on sending them positive energy. I have a bleeding heart.

If I’ve offended, angered or other wise hurt someone I want nothing more for them to know that it could not have been my intention to do so. Because, I have a bleeding heart. 

Sometimes I feel like this –

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And occasionally tell myself something like this –

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 But then I remember who I am, what I am. And I let it all go, returning to the power of positivity and just embrace the love, faith and hope I have, I want, I need. And I no longer care that I have a bleeding heart. 

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What a about you? Do you just let things go, let them roll of your shoulders, or do you take things straight to your own bleeding heart?

By Erica Buteau

Change Agent. Daydream Believer. Maker. Creative. Likes love, peace and Jeeping. Dislikes winter, paper cuts and war. She/Her/Hers.

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