Nobody goes into marriage knowing that divorce is around the corner, but the sad fact is that nearly half of all married US couples will end up getting divorced.

The Pain of a Difficult Divorce

Divorce is painful in a number of ways. Do not underestimate the emotional trauma of splitting from a partner, even if you accept the relationship is over. Divorce spells the end of your hope and dreams for a ‘happy ever after’, so it can be hard to come to terms with, but if you were in the dark right up until the moment your spouse served you with divorce papers, the shock will be unbearable. Getting divorced is also tough on your finances. Everything you own will be split down the middle and you could end up with nothing unless you hire experienced family lawyers Gold Coast.

Kids are often caught up in the crossfire when their parents split up. Kids affected by a nasty divorce often grow up with serious problems. Their experiences can cause them significant issues long into adult life and make it hard for them to form functional, lasting relationships of their own. The good news is that it is possible to help your child avoid some of the emotional, psychological, and physical damage caused by divorce.

Kids First

Put your kids first when you divorce your partner. This will minimize the damage and ensure your kids grow into happy, healthy adults. Acrimonious divorces are riven with conflict: both parties screaming abuse at each other and fighting over everything. It isn’t unusual for warring parents to use the kids as bargaining chips. One parent will withhold contact from the other and drip feed poison onto the kids’ minds so they come to hate the other parent.

Try to remember that, irrespective of what your partner has done, you are co-parents. You need to remain respectful of your partner at all times, even when you hate their guts. Don’t badmouth your ex in front of the kids. If you need to sort out an issue, speak to them in private or communicate via your solicitor.

Co-parenting

It is important that the kids spend equal amounts of time with both parents unless one parent is abusive or dangerous in some way. Cutting off all contact out of spite is malicious and deeply harmful to the kids, and yet so many parents adopt this tactic to punish their ex.

Emotional Support

Recognize that your children will need extra support for a long time after the divorce. Make sure they have a trusted adult or counselor they can talk to for emotional support. You have your own trauma to deal with so you will struggle to shoulder their burden too.

Many kids act out during and after a divorce, so expect a fair amount of bad behavior. Encourage your ex to be supportive and show a united front when behavior deteriorates. This difficult phase should fade if you handle it correctly.

By Erica Buteau

Change Agent. Daydream Believer. Maker. Creative. Likes love, peace and Jeeping. Dislikes winter, paper cuts and war. She/Her/Hers.

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